How to deal with family during the holidays
As I sat down to write this article, the idea occurred to me that this post on how to deal with family during the holidays could be the first in a new category dedicated to family.
I sat pondering this possibility and the pros and cons of opening up my blog to discuss family for some time.
Eventually, I decided that given where I am in life (and my readers too, of course!) the best category to archive this under is self-care.
I know so many people my age whose entire mental health teeters on the edge of a cliff during the holidays.
After all, no matter how well they avoid family during the year, it becomes much harder to avoid them successfully during the back-to-back Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hannukah/New Years holidays.
Now, I’m not saying that’s my experience. I actually have a pretty good relationship with my parents.
But sometimes I feel like it’s the Millenial woman’s plight: having to front questions about your sexuality, finding a partner, settling down, setting a date for the wedding, or popping out kids but never being asked about the thing we’re actually working on and excited about!
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That blog you’re so proud of? None of them read it.
That new cooking class? They just talk about how you’ll make a great housewife. (Not that there’s anything wrong with the SAHM life!)
Expanding your skill set? Why bother going back to school?
So I’ve come up with some tips for you on how to deal with family during the holidays!
When dealing with family: Have some tricks up your sleeve.
Go into the event with a couple of things you’re proud of that are in the works.
That way, when they ask you about the boyfriend/wedding/babies, you can bring up your successes instead.
“So, when are you going to get a boyfriend?!”
“Well, right now I’m actually really excited about this new class I’m taking on C++.”
Don’t feel bad about changing the subject or not answering their questions. Just share the good things you have going on and if they love you, they’ll care to hear about it.
When dealing with family: Be firm.
You know your goals, dreams, and aspirations better than they do – especially if you tend to keep to yourself. So if your family tends to be really pushy with their wants, be sure to stand up for your own plans for your life.
“When are you going to give me grandchildren?”“I’m not looking for kids right now but maybe later.”
But please, do yourself a solid!
When dealing with family: Remember that everyone’s different.
Some people in my family love making inappropriate sexual jokes.
It makes me uncomfortable.
Now, I could spend the rest of the night overthinking my sex life, or I can choose to ignore it and move on.
The more you keep your private thoughts private, the less others will know what offends or triggers you until it’s too late.
Even though the ideal choice would be for everyone to steer away from polarizing topics, it’s not entirely their fault they offended you without knowing.
At the end of the day, everyone’s different. Who knows, maybe at some point you’ve said something that made them uncomfortable!
The night will go a lot more smoothly if you give them the benefit of the doubt and move on.
Good luck and I hope my tips will successfully help you deal with family during the holidays!
I’d love to hear your thoughts and goals! What are some things you’re really excited about that your family just doesn’t understand?
Let me know below!
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With all my love,